Ever look into a pair of blue eyes?
Feel a special something for the bright ocean?
Get lost in the sky on a cloudless day?
Feel particularly drawn to cooler tones?
Blue is a color I said I liked for awhile, but never really understood why. I actually thought it clashed weirdly with my skin tone. Blue is a color that has provided me with a lot of comfort, though because it’s naturally calming to me. Blue is a naturally soothing color. One of my favorite books is titled, Bluets. Maggie Nelson writes about her own (heartbreaking at times) fixation with the color blue. Nelson writes:
“The half-circle of blinding turquoise ocean is this love’s primal scene. That this blue exists makes my life a remarkable one, just to have seen it. To have seen such beautiful things. To find oneself placed in their midst. Choiceless. I returned there yesterday and stood again upon the mountain.”
Her writing will sweep you under and hold you up in turn.
Once, I stood at the shore of the bright blue ocean, and felt immediately as if I could breathe again. I let my worries and anxieties flow back with each wave. I let go, but, eventually, held back on. Did you know that in Scripture it says, “Forgive them and let it drop. Leave it. Let it go?” It literally tells us to let it go. Joel Osteen says, the reason it says let it go is because we will easily be tempted to pick it back up.
Much like me standing at the ocean letting it take my problems, the minute the ocean was out of site my problems were at the forefront of my mind and the cycle began again. When I see blue I try to let my problems sort themselves out. I try to loosen my stronghold on what I think is working and accept what isn’t.
I try to listen for God in the moments of in-between–the song of a bird, the hand of a child in an elder’s, a specific lyric, the hum of the tea kettle, a sigh after a good meal, the soft breeze, or a few words strung together. I started wearing blue a lot more recently because I felt strong in it when I’d catch my reflection or see a photo of myself. I felt like my shoulders automatically went back, my head was held high, and I engaged more with those I spoke with. Marie Howe writes in “What the Living Do,”
“But there are moments, walking, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window glass,
say, the window of the corner video store, and I’m gripped by a cherishing so deep for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat that I’m speechless…”
Blue itself probably doesn’t make all that much of a difference, but it gives me the confidence I’ve been lacking. It gives me a desire to share happy tidbits, engage in more moments of joy, and not latch onto my mistakes like a dog with a bone. If blue can do that for me, why wouldn’t I make a point of wearing it? When we pay attention to what makes a difference in our world–a color, a scent, a type of food, a particular person–we are much more likely to continue engaging with that difference-maker. I am all for marking the moments of my life through particular anecdotes, but what sticks out years later when returning to a past memory of the vivid details which made that moment memorable.
I remember the buttery flavor of the lobster my family and I ate one summer night during my childhood.
I remember the yellow of the sunflowers juxtaposed to the dark green of our grass.
The first time I saw the Azure of buildings in Greece standing stoic next to the sea isn’t a thing I’ll soon forget.
The first time I heard “Heavy” by Birdtalker, the line, “leave what’s heavy behind” ticked inside of me for days and in my hardest moments is a comfort I thumb abstractly.
Here are a few blues that are sitting particularly snugly this week:
- One-piece swimsuit: I put this baby on as you can see here & holy wow! I fell a bit in love with myself.
- I stumbled upon Tracy Klempf who owns Shop Gigibead + immediately fell in love with her magical creations. You can DM her if you’re interested in purchasing–she is lovely. Her handmade pieces make perfect gifts and/or summer arm parties. I have a few of her bracelets already and might need one or two more! (PC: to Tracy for that BLUE-TIFUL photo.)
- Oddly enough, blueberries are now one of my favorite snacks. I picked some up at Trader Joes last week and forgot how delicious they are. Turns out–they are really really good for you, too!