There’s nothing quite like feeling that particular positivity that comes from catching your reflection in just the right light. You think: who is she? I want what she has.

In a past life, I worked in fashion. I was a fashion intern in New York City for two prestigious magazines and I thought, now this is what I want to do! The hustle and bustle. The glamour. The beauty of it all.

Every weekend, I volunteer at my local church charity shop. I get that same hustle and bustle feeling, but the beauty doesn’t necessarily come from the clothes, but the people.

This taught me something.

I’ve known for years that when I make the effort to get dressed, my confidence skyrockets. Now, this isn’t rocket science. There’s a reason that we love reading fashion magazines and looking at runway looks. There’s a reason that when we see someone walking down the street it’s her bag or her scarf or her earrings that momentarily take us out of our orbit and transport us. But, just because there’s a reason doesn’t mean we do any more exploratory work to latch onto the why.

I didn’t mean to figure this out for myself. I’ve taken workshops about dressing your today body and worshipped “non-traditional” beauty (that is to say anyone not photoshopped). I’ve thought a few times, hey let’s see how often I can get dressed and not just default to last night’s pajamas and my hair in a messy bun. Or, makeup? Who has the time?

You know the difference between knowing something and knowing something? One is a surface-level understanding the other comes from your gut. There is nothing like a gut knowing. We can’t doubt gut knowings, I mean, we can if you’re me and you doubt everything 100x before you trust it, but when you know when you know when you know (thank you girlfriend for that one), there’s no-one who can take that knowing away from you.

I showered last night at 7:30pm. I put on a tighter dress. I swiped on mascara and eyeshadow. I put on lingerie. I called my girlfriend. I wasn’t going anywhere. We weren’t doing anything fancy, but I wanted to show up differently then I had been. I wanted to make an effort.

I think we hear, make an effort and immediately think, why? Our loved ones should love us no matter what we look like! This is true, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to get that glimmer in your person’s eye or knowing you feel radiant! You will be braver. You will be bolder. You will sit and stand differently. You will feel doubt, but your confidence will be a shield–you have time for makeup, but not the feeling of not being enough. Of not being whole.

This weekend, I got dressed again all by 10:00am both days. I made food. I made my bed. I did my daily readings. I took a photo and sent it to my girl, but the photo was for me, too. I want the reminder. I want to always remember what it feels like to, “put on my face,” not because I have to, not because I don’t feel strong in my relationship without it, but because if I can choose sexy and strong why wouldn’t I?