I saw this quote on Instagram last weekend:
We can whisper prayers as we wash the dishes.
We can focus our mind on God’s goodness as we drive to work.
We can dream for our child’s future as we change diapers.
We can find good in the mundane of today.Provers 31 Ministries
When I really sit back and think about God, I sometimes am faced with the question, does God listen? I want to 100% say with no shred of doubt, why of course he does! He is listening right now! But, my journey with God hasn’t always been a steadfast one and I pledged to be honest about the entire journey, not just the easy and/or good parts.
Trusting God for me has been a very difficult one especially in the recent years of abuse and pain that I’ve suffered. I would find myself knees bent on the cool bathroom floor begging whoever could hear me to take me out of whatever near identical sh*t show I currently found myself escaping from. I’ve quit jobs, moved cities, left behind all of my belongings to escape from relationships with people that in hindsight plugged a hole that stood in deep contrast to what my faith would have provided if I had just listened. Yeah.
Maybe, it isn’t really about asking the question, does God listen, but instead asking the vital-to-my-belief question of, do I listen to God. My answer is definitely no up until a few weeks ago when I turned my life over to the Lord.
Am I perfect? Far from it.
Do I worry? Daily.
Have I caught a pure, peaceful joy on my face more days than not? Can I get an Amen?! That hole that once seemed too big to be left empty now has a light in it much brighter than any human being could possibly contain.
My holes aren’t empty, but they’re healing over with a trust, a serenity, a deep admiration for the goodness that is this life, the mundane if you will. I try not to escape from the present moment and, when I inevitably find myself doing exactly that, I recenter and remember that this day is mine to make choices in, however when I make choices with God as the focal point of those decisions, I’m left feeling a heck of a lot less lost, messy, and empty.
There is a lot to do in a day and a lot of times when I fear I’ve lost my thread to God: my day may feel very far from peaceful, my head might feel very heavy, and my heart might feel confused. When in doubt, I try not to pacify myself, but instead pledge that I will embrace my morning routine, pray over a loved one, go outside for a breath of fresh, clear air.
When we commit ourselves to God, we do so imperfectly and realistically. There is always an opportunity to do “better,” however He does not judge us, but I believe, instead, encourages us to continue walking our paths, watching Him work miracle in our lives as we stumble and steady.