3 Pieces of Baggage to Unpack
When getting into a relationship, I’ve tended to move my baggage from person to person without giving myself time to heal. I don’t believe that you can’t unpack your baggage while you’re in a relationship, I just highly suggest you do it with someone other than your partner. For example, a therapist! I mention a lot how much I love therapy because I do, but also because I never want to shy away from talking about mental health and the tips and tricks I use to help myself and, in turn, help others. Because, like the rules of an oxygen mask, you have to help yourself before you can help others. These are three pieces of baggage I’m trying to unpack with softness, but deliberation!
- Believing that I am worthy of a good kind love despite what my past says.
- Forgiving myself for things that are now outside of my control.
- Accepting all of myself, unconditionally.
One stems from past people who have made me feel otherwise and allowing that to seep into what I then expect from others. For example, I haven’t been treated with kindness in the past, so normally I don’t expect that from a significant other and when something happens that doesn’t sit well with me, I don’t say anything. I also allow the same or similar fears that other’s have ingrained in me to effect how I read into how my current partner treats me. This can be super unfair to the person you’re with–you aren’t even cutting them a chance before superimposing who you think they are onto who they might actually be!
Two is a reminder that nothing that has happened prior to this moment is in your control anymore. We spend so much time and energy bemoaning the “what if’s.” But, here’s the thing, we can’t change what happened. We can, however, focus on the here and now as best as we can with as much gumption as possible. It won’t always be perfect, in fact, it will be really really imperfect, but that’s life, that’s the sweet stuff. I believe things happen for a reason and even if the reason isn’t clear now, it will be one day.
Three is a gift to myself because when we accept who we are without conditions it means that we prioritize ourselves. For me, I keep God as number one, myself as two, and my partner as three. I am always for me and I will never leave myself.
